A Letter

Dear Mother Nature, Universe, Etc.

This letter is a formal apology...or two. I figure I owe you a few, since these past several weeks have been such a mess. My apologies and explanations are as follows:

I am sorry about the paper plates. You know the ones? The ones I have been using for dinner plates, and breakfast plates, and lunch plates, and snack plates? I suspect you've noticed the waste...I have sure felt guilty about it. But it will only be for a short while (I hope...), just until I can stand the smell of dishsoap again. And don't want to vomit at the slightest wiff of a damp rag. And the odour of any kind of food doesn't want to make me puke. If it gives me brownie points, the paper plates are compostable at least. And I don't have a dishwasher...so I've been saving water for quite some time now...maybe that will help even things out during this disposable dishes only phase. We don't want last week's pile happening again, now do we? Oh, no no no. Not last week's breakdown about the dishes either. Because, well, neither was pretty.

I'm also sorry about the paper towels...the ones I use to wipe my kids' faces every day...because, again, the smell of a damp rag makes me want to shrivel up and die. I also suspect I should apologize for how hormones make me melodramatic.

I apologize for wasting this beautiful weather you've given us. It looks gorgeous outside! I have wanted to enjoy it so many times. I'm looking into some medicine so I can get off the couch without groaning like a dying donkey. And then shuffling to the bathroom.

I'm sorry for how often I've been flushing the toilet. I'm trying to barf less so it's not an issue. I'm working on it, really.

I feel terrible about all the food I have refused to eat. You really do produce some amazing sustenance, Mother Nature. So colourful and nourishing. I hope to be able to enjoy more of it again soon! Just as soon as I can keep down more than saltines. And not gag at the scent of EVERYTHING that is (apparently) edible. And that's usually my favourite. Onions, garlic...I'm looking at you.

Also, the bad Karma. Sorry about all that negative energy I've been putting out there...grouching at my kids, cancelling on friends and plans all over the place, hating every single second of every morning I have to wake up and drive a school bus and puke into Tim Horton's cups along the way. I don't actually hate everything and not feel up to doing anything...well, at least not FOR REAL. I actually really love everyone and everything and will put all sorts of good love-energy back into the world...after this first trimester is over.

If it makes you feel any better, it's all because I'm growing a human in my belly. A teeny little human that I will teach to honor and respect all the beautiful things that you have to offer. A little someone who will be able to help me wash the dishes someday, even.

So until this hardest part of growing a baby passes (I maintain baaaad morning sickness IS WORSE than labour, p.s.), please accept my sincerest apologies for doing things a little...wastefully...and whine-ily. We are really excited about the new arrival, but figure that in order to make it to the end of this pregnancy, I must be alive and semi-sane.

Sooo...paper plates it is. Just for now. Just until I don't have to plug my nose and breathe through my mouth for a whole load of dishes. It's all for the gift of LIFE, baby!

Much Love,
Me.

Baby? We think so...doesn't really look like one, yet...

Stats! Currently 10 weeks along, Due April 21st.